Stories from Your Wedding Friend - The Wedding Planner's Blog
Why would you want to work with me and why would I want to work with you? It's important that we get along and can work well together on your wedding, because we both want the best possible outcome. So, how do we decide if we're a good fit? Let's explore the waysâ€¦
Do we understand each other? Can we explain things well so that the other understands? This becomes a problem pretty quickly if we have very different ways of explaining things. I can try to tailor the way I communicate if you're more visual or descriptive, or if you prefer bullet points and edited highlights to long drawn out explanations, but ultimately each of us has a preferred way of communicating and if we both have similar ways then things are much easier. If you've ever done a personality profile quiz you may have a clear idea of how you prefer to be communicated with, and it's great if you're able to share that with me, but for most of us it's a case of trial and error. Alongside this style of communication is the preferred method of communication. If you'd prefer to be kept up to date by email than with a phone call, or like a quick Whats App instead of a video call, then we can agree a method that works for you. I've helped plan several weddings using mainly text messaging or emails. It is doable.
Without either of these things, it can be hard to feel happy and safe in someone else's company. You need to be able to trust me and I need to trust you. If I can be open and honest (though never brutal) with you, then we can approach any difficulty without having to beat around the bush. You need to be comfortable enough with me to say 'I don't like that' so that we can make changes as needed, otherwise you could end up feeling disappointed or unheard. It can also be easier for you to rely on me to communicate your needs to other suppliers too, so an honest approach on what you want is much easier for me to translate to others. You can be more brutal with me than you might be dealing directly with other suppliers.
It might seem frivolous, but I find that if you can make each other laugh then we're pretty sure to get along over a period of time. I sometimes use humour to break the tension, something I inherited from my dad and by observing people who work in high stress environments. An appropriate humour, a lightening of the atmosphere can make small worries more bearable. If my sense of humour doesn't work with yours we can still work together but it'll be a bit more serious than my usual style.
It's not really a test but in order to get to know you I will be asking lots of questions. Some of them you'll immediately have answers for, some you might wonder how relevant they are, but mostly you might start to feel like I'm testing you for something. I'm not but the questions I ask give me a really good background and understanding of you as couple and what your wedding priorities might be. I promise to make this bit as easy as possible and chatty but if you don't like people enquiring into your life and ideas, then you really won't like working with a wedding planner.
Sometimes it becomes obvious that we might not be the right fit for each other. It works both ways, after all it's like any relationship; we don't all get along with everyone we meet. Fortunately, I know lots of other amazing wedding planners and rather than give you a service you might not fully enjoy, I can make recommendations for someone who might be more up your street. It's so much easier for us to get everything done if we get along as equals because that's how I see us; equal partners in planning your dream wedding. If that's not what you're looking for then I'm not the one for you.
I mentioned I'll ask you lots of questions, but again this works both ways; you get to ask me questions too! Think about our meetings as a speed date; if we have a lot of common interests and like to work in a similar way then we should be able to get along long term. If you need reassurance about a specific worry, ask me about how I may have dealt with something similar in the past. Maybe you think you've forgotten something important? Ask me what I think is missing - I'll go through a lot of the bits and bobs that make up the majority of weddings, but also some of the more technical, physical aspects of how things get from A to B. What I include in my packages and what I don't do, are just as equally important for you to understand, so it's best to ask from the outset and get a clear picture.