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The picture shows some grass green LOVE letters measuring about 4 ft tall out in the grounds of a wedding venue with trees and people in the background. Below this image is the title of the blog

Confessions of your wedding suppliers (or what they wish they could say to you)

Wedding suppliers have a not so secret network, we talk to each other privately. Sometimes we talk about the latest scam that's appeared (yes suppliers get attacked by scammers too), or wedding trends and opportunities, but occasionally suppliers will share instances of things they wish they could have said to customers or wish their clients wouldn't do/say to them. Here are some of their thoughts...

First up is the most common feedback from all suppliers, please don't ask 'Is that the cheapest you can do it?' NB there are better ways of asking for a deal but suppliers spend a great deal of time figuring out their pricing

'I'll send the booking fee/form/confirmation over later' - if you say you'll do it then please do it in a timely fashion! And if you've changed your mind please tell your supplier. If nothing else it'll stop them hassling you for a response!

'I want to do something really unique that I've seen on Pinterest/Instagram' - just don't say it's 'unique' if you picked up the idea from an internet post, we've probably already done it.

Please don't ask venue decorators 'Can you decorate my venue with everything I've bought from Amazon/Ebay/Card Craft?' alternate version 'can I hire all your bits for my wedding and steal all your ideas by obsessively asking questions about how to do it, and recreate it myself'. If you want their expertise, please pay them a reasonable wage for it, save yourself from the stress.

And asking your travel agent 'Because we're on honeymoon, do you think we can get a free upgrade?' - err no

'How can you charge £1500 for one day?' - oh man wedding suppliers get this a lot and no it's not because they're trying to rip you off. Yes, it might be a 15-hour day but how many hours/costs are they all putting in before and after your wedding? Again they've worked hard to figure out what they're worth and charge accordingly. If you can't afford it, move on to a different supplier with a price point you're more comfortable with, just don't expect the same service.

Don't approach the DJ with a 'can you play something we can dance to' especially when the dance floor is full, or just because you don't like what is being played.

When you schedule a meeting turn up for it, and if you have a legitimate reason for running late/cancelling let the supplier know. Just deciding not to bother turning up is rude and someone else may have missed out on an appointment because of you.

Linked to the above, if you've been sent reminders about meetings or with requests for updates, please don't ignore them, even a quick 'thanks, working on it' text or email will put minds at rest.

'Don't forget that you are not your suppliers only customer, yes you'll have lots of questions but that doesn't mean you get 24/7 access to them, they may well be at other meetings during the day or sleeping at 2am.' I'd also add wedding suppliers are allowed to have a life so at peak times, like school run time, you might not get a response right away. They devote as much time as they can to you but you don't need to be rude about waiting an hour or two for a response.

'Can you not just give us that free? You already have to be there anyway' again a big no no

'I'd like flowers everywhere....20 table arrangements, 10 bridesmaids, an archway, hanging foliage hoops, my budget is £400' - just no. It's great to get inspiration from Pinterest but you need to understand that those displays have cost a fortune - the archway alone will have around £600 worth of flowers and time gone into it.

The next one is just rude, it's never nice to demean someones passion, so please spare a thought for your suppliers feelings!

A request from your baker, please don't say this to them 'No one really eats the cake so it's just for decoration errm I think myself and 99.9% of previous clients beg to differ. And think about having your cake as your dessert, get it cut up nice and early so that people stand a chance of trying it before the end of the night.' Wise words indeed.

And finally...

One from those of us who are there from beginning to end, but especially your photographer: 'Could you start shooting at 8am? OK fine, first dance is 8pm then at 11.30pm we're having fireworks so can you stay for that then sparkler exit at 1am, would that be classed as overtime?' Only 17hr day plus driving, when was the last time you worked a 17+ hour day?

I would add, if you expect a supplier to be at your wedding for more than 4/5 hours, it's not unreasonable for them to expect a bite to eat, plus it helps avoid waste!

The main thing that all wedding suppliers agree on is a lack of understanding about the amount of time and effort that goes into your special day, especially the bits that you don't see behind the scenes. Some couples cringe at the prices they see for services and understandably want to know how and why those prices are the way they are. I've shared a couple of blogs where I've talked about specific suppliers' costs (see below) however it is safe to say that most suppliers spend hours before and sometimes after your big day getting things just right, so please spare a thought for your suppliers' time, knowledge and expertise. X

For more tips on how to get the best from your wedding suppliers check out these related blogs: